Positive Thinking Strategies to Take Control of Your Life

Jill McIntyre is a property and life coach that through her numerous years of experience is able to pass on some of her knowledge to help other people. We are lucky enough to have her share some advice and effective thinking strategies on how you can better your own life. There is no one that is more qualified than her to listen and learn from.

Join us in this special episode of Mindset Monday as we delve into the topic of Leadership. We discuss just what leadership really means, we learn of different strategies we can use to take control over our own life, come to an understanding about how there are times when you must look after yourself before looking after others, how to set goals and plan on working towards them, and much much more!

In this episode, we are talking about the topic of leadership and what that really means. McIntyre shares a story about one of her clients that relates to the various components of leadership. 

I think it's very important when I put the question out to an individual and say, do you feel your relatable? Quite often I can feel the body language pulling back and coming back and bang, I don't like that. And leadership doesn't mean you have to be Prime Minister of Australia for example. But leadership is a very important issue as an individual. Some people are followers, some people are leaders, but at the same stage, it doesn't matter which category you fit into, you've got to just move forward as a leader within your own life. If I suggested that we are in charge of our own destiny, what would your answer be there?        

One of the first steps is realise that you control your own destiny and it is up to you to decide where you want to go.

The other thing is too, it's about creating your own destiny. And you and I talk in between these recordings of course, and we talk about business and we talk about growth and we talk about personal levels and all the different things that we do. Every one of us has, you will often see mindset people, which say go and do a vision board and put all the photos of what you want to create and locked up thing. And all you're doing there in my mind is that you are painting a picture for your subconscious to tell your, your conscious mind that this is actually happening in your life. If we can turn around a situation and think, I've got to really, I want to move forward in life. I want to get out of my comfort zone that we've spoken about previously and I want to really step up and create something that I'm proud of. I want to leave a legacy for my children or my grandchildren. I want to start to do things differently because I'm not feeling at the moment that I'm getting the best out of what I could.

Everything that we have to do, it's about creating a new avenue of growth that is going to create a different outcome, which is our destiny. This all starts with planning. It all starts on giving yourself permission to go there. That’s every one of us, I know a lot of you probably haven't thought about this. Every one of us have leadership qualities within us. Every one of us is our leader in our own lives, we are the captain of our own ship. 

And so what do we do when we feel like a ship without a rudder and we all know what it feels like. I'm sure you do too.       

Some people may like to work alone but it never hurts to have someone who is able to support you along your journey. 

And a lot of it could be who do we need to bring into our lives to make it happen. Because if we're used to working as a lone soldiers, as I call it, a person who tries to do everything for themselves. And say if you're struggling with self-esteem, you can't get out of your own way and you need support. We all need support regardless of whether it's self-esteem, property, business mindset, accountability, we need other people in our lives to help and support us move forward with what we're doing. Accountability is a huge one.        

We find out how McIntyre defines the term leadership and what can happen if you try to take on too much responsibility. 

positive thinking strategies

I think leadership is, to me, when I'm saying are you a ship without a rudder, that's a good example with where you're going, we need to be in charge of our own life. I don't mean to be cocky or I don't mean to be ego-driven, but we have to have a plan that gives us clarity and focus to move forward every day. If we don't have a plan and take leadership responsibility of who we are, we are just on the continuous treadmill.         

McIntyre delves further on how important it is to have a plan in place not only for yourself but to be able to lead other people around you. 

We need a plan but it's about you moving forward with it. We need a plan for everything with what we're doing in growth. We need to have a roadmap. We need to have [inaudible] with the steps that we're going to take. Now quite often, a lot of these steps in leadership and moving out of that comfort zone and moving beyond that, a lot of these steps, we won't know what they are until we actually start to put our toe in the water.

And then, yes, I've met someone else and they’re going to help and contribute with that growth or things that are going to come in. It's funny, as we take on a growth thinking, open for business as I call it, not closed for business and being shut down. Once we take on an open for business type of thinking, outside entities come into our life that help and support us. It’s those outside lives I see time and time again and I know with myself and probably you’re the same, you'll be thinking about something and then automatically you'll be introduced to someone that will come up and say, yes, this is what I do. I'm an expert in my field or my skill set of such and such and all of a sudden that person is put in front of you to help and support you and it was done unconsciously and they'd come from a totally different area into your life, but they're going to be there that you can help and support each other with what you're doing and your growth. So people are presented to us. Situations are presented to us on a very regular basis. But if we are closed for business, we don't see opportunities.        

Another way to put being open for business would be to say that you need to be open-minded to all circumstances. 

There's hypnosis that I do of Chris Howard, mindset guru, an American guy and I just love it. He's saying very much on leadership is that we work with and through other people as a true leader. For me as a coach to give every session that I have with a client or communication I have with a client is to have a brainstorming thinking of, yes let’s just explore this. What can happen here and say with one of my clients yesterday that I've had for a couple of years and we were looking at him making some quick short chump money deals coming in and I brought up that idea because he was thinking of longer scheme things like the NDIS plan? And I said, right now what about we start to be thinking about buy/reno/subdivide/sell. Let’s focus on an area where you are, he's in Perth.

And as you know, the market and purpose are steady going. And all of a sudden with our brainstorming, the whole conversation turned round to, yes, I know that area, but what about this area? And we went through in a very short space of time, three suburbs in a very short space of time of which one of them was a real boomer. The days on the market went with 89 days with number one and two suburbs down to 59 days with number three in a Perth market and all of the other boxes ticked up with it. So I finished that session and he's got some work to do. But as a leader, according to Chris Howard, and this is what I was doing yesterday, I was working with and through me and sharing my brainstorming know-how with this client, but he then took it on board to be able to take ownership and run with that.        

You need to take ownership over your own life and realise that it’s important to give to others, but you still need to take care of yourself as well.

Stop and think that as I'm doing this, people are doing it for me too. So it's like a ripple effect that comes in. But it starts with us taking responsibility for who we are. There are so many people that give to everyone else around them. They give and give and give and wonder why they run out of petrol themselves

My thinking is that we have to stop at one stage or another, we have to pull back and if we can't, we can only run for a certain period giving out to other people. If we don't top ourselves up and there's got to be a point in our life where we've got to pull back and say, I’ve got to take charge here. I've got to take responsibility here of what I am doing in my life because of a lot of people who are giving to other people, they're helping other people because it's easier to help other people rather than face what they've got to do in their own life.        

Building up your own confidence and self-esteem can have a large impact on your leadership ability.

I've gone through another podcast about the fear stats and so much of what we fear is 40% in the future and 30% in the past of what makes up 70% of what we fear are future or past events that keep on coming in that are going to affect it now. So if we can say I'm living in the now and moving forward and [inaudible] but yes, I have a right to be here. I’ve got a message and as you delve further because we're talking about starting at the grassroots here and a lot of people in that category will certainly not be best friends with confidence or self-esteem or self-worth.

And it's about, that's my birthright. It's my birthright to be a woman of substance, for example. Did I feel that 20 years ago? Absolutely not. I was out the door the other way. So little by little, this is all happening between our ears and it starts with leadership. You as a leader, you are in charge of your own destiny. Start with what you want. Because when we get ourselves on track it is far-reaching of how we can go around and help other people.        

We find out more about becoming a leader within yourself and within your own life and McIntyre’s advice on how to get started. 

If you are a leader, you've got to bring the focus back into you, not with ego, but with integrity. You've got to bring the focus back onto you because quite often we want to look after everyone else because we don't want to go near us because we'll find some peeling of the onion there that we're not going to really want to go to. There's going to be lots of little cracks in the system that we don't really want to go near. So it takes courage first to stop and think I am worthy and what we've got to do as a leader. Just stop to think, I am worthy of more time to come back into me. When we stop and think that we are our greatest investment, what do you think I'd mean by that saying?

That's a challenging one for me to answer because at the end of the day, if you don't look after yourself, firstly, there's no way that you can look after other people. So work on yourself first.

We are our greatest investment and the more that you can think about that, I can feel the hairs on my arm standing up as I'm saying it because I believe it. But if we don't, if we're not familiar with thinking of ourselves as our greatest investment, we would be working harder without our ego trying to kick it in to say, who do you think you are? You’re not worthy of anything. So overriding that ego conversation in our head and saying, this is my birthright, this is who I am. If you don't believe it, watch this space. And you get into the mindset. You get into property, even listening to podcasts because a lot of this could come not directly from mindset initially, but you start listening to podcasts and you’re being a sponge for all of the information that is coming out of the podcast and writing it and sitting and planning.

Yes, I think I could have a go at that and set it in motion and then bit by bit by bit, although it's property-focused, you're gaining confidence, you're gaining know-how. You're gaining the ability to get out of your comfort zone to go out and approach other people. Because if you're not thinking that you are in charge of what you're doing, you will go to a meetup group and there'll be a room full of people there and you won't even communicate with other people there other than saying hello and then walking to the toilet and feeling uncomfortable. I'll come back in five minutes and that person might not talk to me or even to talk about things to start off with, it'll be a shallow conversation. But if I go up to someone and say, you're here, you're obviously wanting to do property or you're in the property. What are you specifically here for tonight? Do you think that gets a conversation started?         

In order to have any type of control of where you are heading on your journey you need to think ahead of what you want the outcome to be.

I've shared with you on an earlier podcast that for a long time, and I even do it now when I'm going to a workshop and even presenting or if I’m going to a meetup group to be part of the group, I would ask myself before, what’s in it for me? Why am I going to that meetup group? Am I going for the pretty crummy coffee and the nice biscuits or am I going for a specific purpose? Now if I could identify what I'm going for and the outcome that I'm looking to gain from that attendance, do you think it sets me in the right mindset and place for, okay, I'm looking for a buddy to work with. Do you think it starts to be putting questions in my mind as this is why I'm going, this was the outcome and then we've got to get out of our comfort zone to start a conversation on, this is what I'm looking for. But if we don't have that thought in our mind that we can do it, is it going to happen?        

McIntyre reiterates how taking control over your life and thinking about the benefits you get out of certain situations isn’t selfish but individual leadership.

I started thinking of what's in it for me and all I could hear was my mother, who died many years ago, of course, all I could hear was my mother scolding me from upstairs, you're a naughty girl, you shouldn't be thinking about what's in it for me, that's selfish. And I had to get over that little speed hump of course. And it's not selfish at all. It is really defining the purpose of why I'm going to spend time doing something and do I value my time by thinking like that. Am I getting good bang for my buck if I can come home and say I've met one person that I could really connect with and then what's my action plan there? I'm going to email them and they might not respond. So I might be giving them a call a few days later. I've got to follow through with an action plan.

And so is it about opening me up to think about my moving forward situation that creates an outcome that then, see how good this feels. And the funny thing is, although we've got to be out of our comfort zone and to be doing this and we're not feeling comfortable about getting into a conversation may be with someone or asking or trying to seek a money partner at a meetup group. When you come home, yeah, you might've had some half good conversations, but that's a lot further than where you were before you went and stop to think it's only a little bit, but next time it'll be better. And then after that will be better than that and keep on moving forward with, I’m on my way. How well does this feel and you’re taking a leadership role within your own life.        

She has shared with us some of her expert knowledge on the concept of leadership but now she provides us with some advice on how we can apply this into our own lives.

Maybe a lot of people will shy away from that if they were on a piece of paper putting themselves. If I say there's a couple of times a year and I've done this for a long time, a couple of times a year where I'd go back to base, where am I at the moment and what's the growth around me. There's business growth, obviously, property growth. My personal growth with my children or grandchildren, things like that. But I start always with me in the middle. I do it in my journal, I have a photo of me in the middle that I'd cut out or I do a stick figure of me and believe me my drawings pretty ordinary. Stick figure of me in the middle and I'll put my name there.

From that I just start to do filtered little bits out of where say my growth, my business by the next six months will be of growth for me. And a lot of it would even come in of my health, my wellbeing, what do I need to do? How do I need to kickstart that? Because a lot of time in my day is sitting on my bottom, not doing exercise, with a client, which I'm absolutely passionate about, but it's not helping my body and helping my joints and helping everything else. So I'm not an exercise freak at all. I'd be the furthest from it. So I’ve really got to put a plan of attack into my day to actually go out and do something. And I know it sounds funny, but this morning at 6:30, I was doing the vacuuming with my headset on and singing and dancing to Robbie Williams at the Palladium.

And it sounds crazy, but that's what you've got to do. For me, I've got to create a plan for something that I'm not really excited about to go and do something. But then I've got to continually commit for something that doesn't come naturally to me.        

There are actions that need to be taken throughout your life that you might struggle to find the motivation to complete which is why it is helpful to have someone who will hold you accountable. 

I've got a good mate that I've known for years and she is these days involved in property too and we would have a conversation five out of seven mornings a week, usually roundabout 8:30 in the morning. And yes, we miss some days, no we don't other days. Some days the conversation might go for 10 minutes. Some days it might go for 2 minutes, but it's always on how are you? Where are you? What are you doing? What are you doing today? What's your growth plan?

Other people would say, I haven't got time in the day to be doing that. You could do it with a text with someone at 6:00 in the morning if you know that they're up. Are you on track today and give yourself a gauge, I always liked the gauge bit, one to 10, one being the lowest and 10 being the highest. Where are you in the leadership growth stakes today? Are you feeling motivated? Are you feeling that you're on track? Do you feel focused? If you start scoring yourself, you'll get a pretty honest answer here. If you are honest with yourself, we're not talking about delusion, we're talking about honesty, and the more that you can do, say, if you got a three this morning, that's where I am this morning, but that's where I am right now.

Automatically my mind would go, what am I going to do about it? What's the solution? Instead of, I'm a three. It's hard work. I'm ready to go and have a shower. I need to get some food into me or a coffee into me. That's the problem. You're just feeding the problem. What am I going to do about it to get me out of that state? And then create, yes, this is what I could do. I could listen to something motivational. I can get out and I can go and do some dancing with Robbie Williams, for example. It raises the bar of my adrenaline when I'm moving with the headset on regardless of what else I'm doing. But we've got to physically do something within our mind about taking action. The action is to roll your sleeves up, not read a book because that's education. It's physically getting out and doing. 

If you're going to go and look for property, you'll get onto www.realestate.com and a lot of people will get onto www.realestate.com as we all do. It's a fabulous tool, but what are you going to do then? Are you going to start focusing in one area? Are you going to be an area expert? Are you going to front up at a number of different open homes on Saturday to start building relationships with agents? Are you going to be looking at comparables? What is a site worth on a 400 square metre block unrenovated? What's it worth on the same block renovated? Who were the people who are going to be buying? What's the days on the market? What’s your plan of attack to move forward? Is that leadership? I think it is.

This episode was produced by Andrew Faleafaga with narrations and interviews conducted by Tyrone Shum.

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